Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
