sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize