At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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