if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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