just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize