My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
