and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize