How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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