Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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