I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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