That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
