if you like me you must not know who I am
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
