I hate your face
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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