I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
