I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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