Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
