I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
