this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
