I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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