I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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