they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
