We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
