I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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