Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
