we're blogging at a bar
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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