I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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