I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
