that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
