Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
