I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
