Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize