That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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