I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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