You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
