I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
