so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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