Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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