I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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