im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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