I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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