Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What drink are we having for lunch?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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