hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
