we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
