mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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