I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize