I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
