You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
