IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
