I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
