I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize