is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
