saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We are two peas in an std pod
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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