i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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