Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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