No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
