I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
