I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
