it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
