you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
