would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
